When Was Your Last Stylegasm?
What is a stylegasm?
You may recall last week that I mentioned my new, hot pink, gorgeously soft, velvet wrap dress that is covered in sequins? It’s just one of several items of clothing that I’ve bought recently that give me little stylegasms when I think about them. Have you ever had one? (Yes, it's another of my made-up words.)
It’s when you try something on that makes you want to twirl around and keep looking at yourself in the mirror. You squeal with excitement and can't stop smiling 😁 You look and feel a million dollars and it ticks ALL your boxes. Nothing can p!ss on your bonfire when you find something like that, something that you really love, it makes you feel fantastic, you walk out of the door, and nothing can touch you...
The initial rush might wear off eventually, but you know it’s going to be a long-term favourite wardrobe item.
I had a comment on one of my social media posts from a woman who said the last time she was excited and felt twirly in an outfit was as a child. This made me sad. I appreciate that not everyone knows how to create that feeling. I didn’t myself for a long time, I talk, in my book, Project FAB! No More Making Do, of how I’d created a monster of my wardrobe. It was working against me rather than FOR me. That’s why I’m so passionate about supporting other women now in my role as a personal style and brand mentor and created my 4-step framework that you can work through step by step.
Why you don't have stylegasms
Mostly when I work with clients who are lacking stylegasms it’s because they don’t know what their style personality type is. They can describe the type of clothes they like best, but whenever they’ve decided to try something different it’s ended up in the back of the wardrobe with the tags still on; they’ve got it out and tried it on loads of times but never actually got around to wearing it. Or they wore it once for a night out, but it didn’t quite feel right so they never wore it again.
You will have had some clothes in your wardrobe that you’ve worn until they fell apart and others like new that you’ve put in the charity bag. When this happens it’s usually because you’ve veered away from your innate style personality archetype. I have a free quiz to help you understand your style personality type. It is one of those mostly A, mostly B type quizzes. You can try it here. It is always something I go through with clients to gain an insight to their likes and dislikes.
How to achieve a stylegasm
To achieve stylegasms more often the trick is to analyse your personal style to find out WHY you like something. What EXACTLY is it about the stylegasm item that you love? Is it the fit? The style? The colour? The feel of the fabric? The way you used accessories to complete the look.
The more you can pinpoint what it was that made it hit the spot, the easier it will be to replicate in the future. There will be recurring themes within your wardrobe, things that repeat in a variety of items of clothing. Create a kind of checklist for when you are clothes shopping and make sure you don’t deviate much from it as those purchases that do are likely to be the ones left unworn at the back of the wardrobe.
Once you understand your style personality type it’s easier to develop and create your own style recipe and improve your image confidence. It doesn’t mean that things are boring, or you must get stuck in a rut and only wear certain styles; it is about recognising the qualities of the things you like. You have your own guidelines to follow. You save time because you “own” your look and getting dressed becomes easier.
It also saves you loads of time when you are shopping because you aren’t wandering around looking at things that don’t suit you. You save money because you wear everything that you buy.
You’ll eventually gain comfydence (another one of my made-up words) it’s a cross between comfortable and confident. It’s something to aspire to when you are putting an outfit together. It’s the aftermath of a stylegasm. It’s about the ongoing, sustainable side of getting dressed and feeling good in your clothes day after day.
Your style recipe is about your essence; it’s very personal to you and encapsulates your identity, it gets tweaked depending on the flavour required for each day.
It’s just like cooking. You have your basic recipe; you know the ingredients needed and you can experiment with the finer details, adding spices and putting different twists on it depending on your mood. You’ll be able to put together a cohesive wardrobe that reflects your personality and lifestyle and can be dialled up and down to suit the occasion.
Create your style recipe
So, how do you go about creating your style recipe?
Assess your personal style as it stands currently. Think about how you appear today, and what your clothes say about you now, and then consider what you want them to say about you in the future.
Point A is your starting style. Point B is where you are aspiring to be. How much of a gap is there between the two? The gap between the two will vary from person to person and with the four step Project FAB! framework you can work out what needs to happen to bridge the gap.
If the gap is enormous or seems a stretch too far then remember, this is a journey. Whilst B maybe your final destination you can also create some pitstops or milestones to celebrate along the way. For example, you might want to get your whole wardrobe sorted for every occasion and the first milestone could be to get your work wardrobe sorted, then casual, then smart. You get the idea.
Remember to be realistic and authentic. Your style recipe is not just about your public persona. The aim is for it to be sustainable across all areas of your life. Your personal style recipe will continue evolving with time. It doesn’t have to become stagnant, but you will benefit from making informed decisions when you buy new clothes.
Maybe you’re like me and at the point where things that you once loved and felt really good in aren’t serving you anymore? My pre covid ‘work wardrobe’ feels more formal than I want to dress these days. I think a lot of people are dressing in a more relaxed way, bringing in more casual elements to their look – think about the whole trainers with dresses or structured suit look. What was right then might not be right now. This is where having a good clear out, or what I call a wardrobe weed, comes in useful.
I’m going to be hosting a Shop Your Wardrobe Challenge 17-22nd Jan to give you some help with all this. Pop the dates in your diary now. In the meantime you could check out my Suss Your Style in 30 Daysproject or treat yourself to the Super Savvy Style self-study online course to set you up for 2024. Maybe even ask Santa?
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