Posts tagged “confidence”

You may (or may not) have noticed that I am a flamingo lover. My house is full of them. 
People send flamingo related items to me in the post. I get given flamingo related gifts. I walked into our wedding ceremony to Pretty Flamingo by Manfred Mann and we had flamingo toppers on our wedding cake. They have become a big feature in my life over the past seven years and I’m going to explain why. And, why now, I have decided to incorporate them into my business branding. 
 
In the spring of 2013 I experienced trauma that completely side swiped me. With hindsight the signs were there. I should’ve seen it coming. I wasn’t well. I was overworked, extremely stressed and my 23 year relationship was undeniably broken. I was juggling plates and desperately trying to stop them from crashing to the ground. But they did. I needed to rebuild and rise like a phoenix from the ashes. 
 
Instead of a phoenix though, flamingos became symbolic of that rebirth. It started with my bedroom wallpaper. 
 
I’d always liked flamingos. They are kitsch, synonymous with mid century design that I’ve always loved. My taste had developed a more mainstream flavour and I’d blended into a more magnolia world over the years with my ex husband. I’d dumbed down my personal taste and our home was much more conventional in its décor than I would’ve ever had at one time. 
 
 
 

Remember the Hair Bear Bunch on TV when we were kids? Or Ken Dodd? That’s how I feel with my hair just now having missed a couple of my appointments. 

I've been 'accused' of still having nice hair despite it being lock down several times over the past few weeks – a couple of people have looked at me very suspiciously. 
 
Imagine how we’d all be looking if we had weekly appointments for a shampoo and set like our mothers did back in the day. I remember my mum nipping round to Doreen’s on a Friday. Doreen had converted the front room of her two up, two down terraced house into a salon and had 3 of those big hood dryers in a row. You stood over her kitchen sink to get your hair washed. She had a plastic shower hose attached to the taps – well risky for scalds if the cold pressure was too high and it popped off the cold tap. Thankfully those days are no more. 
 
As you can imagine the news this week has made me very happy. I can't wait to see Brian my hairdresser again, it's just THE BEST THING that he is be able to open from 4th July. I’ve got everything crossed that my appointment goes ahead on the 8th. I've been seeing him religiously every 6 weeks for over 20 years and prior to lock down I had my appointments booked in up until March 2021! 
 
He knows my hair really well and cuts it accordingly. I.e. the style is designed to go with the way it grows. This, I'm incredibly thankful for, because it's precisely why, despite not being cut since February, it still looks ok. 
 
 
If it's not too personal a question - how IS your knicker drawer looking? Actually, before we start on the detail what do you call them? 
In Lancashire, where I'm from, pants are trousers (like in America) and you wear knickers as underwear. Having lived in Nottingham for most of my adult life I've gone native and now call knickers pants (and trousers are trousers). There are lots of names for pants - bloomers, drawers, apple catchers, undies, briefs, knickers, keks, grundies all of these are ok.... But NEVER panties, that just sounds so sleazy. 
 
I'm writing to you about knickers this week as it's my belief that your underwear can affect how you feel as you go about your day and ultimately, it can be a marker of your self-image. 
 
If you get the foundations right and your clothes hang better, you'll look and feel the business. There are so many shapes and types of knickers, how do you choose what type you prefer? Does it depend on what you are wearing on top? Thongs, g-strings, boy shorts, Brazilian, high leg, midi, mini, waist whopper armpit warmers. 
 
It's ALWAYS about comfort for me. If your pants are not comfy, digging in or going up your bum or whatever then it can affect your whole day. How can you focus with a wedgie? Always full backside coverage, I like to get my money's worth in the fabric department. 
 
 
Are your standards slipping as we continue in lockdown? While, during ‘normal’ times you won’t see me out and about in public without my face it doesn’t feel as necessary for online meetings. It actually seems a bit odd to be sitting at home fully made up. 
I reckon I’ve had more make-up free days in the past few weeks than any other time in my adult life. 
 
I’ve always loved make up and wear it most days. It’s part of my identity and I wear it for me, not for anyone else. I like the way it changes my appearance. 
I actually find the process of applying it quite meditative. My full routine takes me about twelve minutes and that’s the full works: foundation, eye make-up, lipstick, the lot. I play around with colour on my eyes but mainly stick with the same application process. 
 
I have a 3-minute version and a 5-minute version too – it depends on what I’m doing that day. This is what I’m sticking to more and more these days – very light, just a couple of products yet still adding a bit of definition to my features. 
If I were going ‘out out’ in the evening, then I’d make my eye makeup more dramatic.  
For other occasions when I need it be long lasting then I’ll take more time and apply it, in layers, so it lasts all day without needing to be reapplied. 
Whether you love it, hate it or fall somewhere in between, there’s no denying the fact that make-up can help some of us feel more confident. 
 
I often find, though, that many women would like to wear make-up but aren’t sure how to apply it. They feel intimidated by the store assistants and don’t want to ask for advice or sit on a stool in the middle of a busy store while they have several layers applied – a primer for this, a primer for that, etc. 
The lack of face to face consultations has left a bit of a gap in my diary (and bank balance) so I’ve been using the gift of time to get organised with my ‘I’ll get around to it one day’ list. 
One of these things was to update my make up video tutorials and online course as, although the content is still totally relevant, I look different and that makes them look old. The main difference is my hair – I recorded most of the videos before I embraced the seenager highlights. 
 
Also, and this is REALLY interesting, my skin looks so much smoother and radiant now than it did a few years ago. I put this down to a change in my skin care routine and using the lovely Tropic products. A few years ago, I wouldn’t even put the bin out without a full face on whereas now I’m happy to share selfies on my social media of my make up free fizzog. 
 
More so these past few weeks of lockdown and I’ve been showing up on camera with my 3 minutes make up routine on instead of my full face – which takes me 12 minutes by the way. 
 
My first true love was make up. I have always been interested in make-up from a very early age. I once went to brownies with a black eye that I’d created from my mum’s purple eyeshadow. Brown owl humoured me, and I felt so proud that I’d fooled her with my applications skills. 
 
I’m ashamed to say that I got pulled up for shoplifting make up in Woolworths when I was at primary school. My dad used to take me and sister into town on a Saturday morning, we’d go to the library and then the, market for fruit and veg; this particularly time was when we were allowed to look around the shops on our own while dad did the market run. 
Why are you the person to help me with colours, clothes and confidence Lisa? 
I've been involved with colour, make up, textiles and fashion since the early 80's...thankfully I've kept up with the times and won't make you wear shoulder pads or dress like Bananarama though! 
 
My skills, knowledge and experience have been honed over 30+ years...but more than that I'm compassionate and approachable. 
 
I am not the fashion police and I'm not into giving someone a makeover so they look nice for that day but can't replicate it for everyday life - I like to teach my tips and tricks around colour and style so you look good and feel fab every day. 
 
I am not really interested in who wore what at the Oscars. 
I don't watch Love Island or Towie and know who the "celebrities" are, nor am I interested in what they are wearing. 
I don't buy magazines or follow the latest "must have" trends, nor do I regurgitate it in "how to wear this season's pleated skirt" type articles to share with my followers. 
I don't do "makeovers" and show before and after photos of my clients. 
I don't make my clients wear colours or clothes that they don't like or feel comfortable in. 
I'm not a franchisee with a training manual and a few days training on the basics 
I do...help my clients define and refine their personal style/image so they feel fabulous and are truly expressing their identity; confident in the knowledge that they are still themselves but an upgraded version. 
It’s lunchtime, Wednesday 17 October, I’d been out to a networking coffee morning, Paul had been pottering at home on a day off. 
We’d eaten lunch and were chatting about this and that. It was an ordinary day. Paul was clearing up the lunch pots one minute and the next he was down on one knee asking me to marry him! It wasn’t one of those grand gesture pre-planned proposals, it was very spontaneous and from the heart. Of course, without hesitation, I said yes! Ten minutes later he’d left to do the school run and I was sitting at the kitchen table letting it sink in! 
 
We decided to tie the knot sooner rather than later and the date was set. Then we had lots of decisions to make…including the dreaded WHAT TO WEAR!!!???!!! 
 
I started to think about what I might like to wear to get married in and like any self-respecting bride set about creating a Pinterest board and looking for ideas. I pinned everything that I liked and began to see patterns forming. It was becoming obvious what I liked and there were themes emerging…so far so good. 
 
Then I had a rethink, I changed my mind and went off in a totally different direction. I got a picture in my head of EXACTLY what I wanted. This, of course, does not exist on ANY Pinterest boards, only in my head. I realise that this dress is going to have to be a bespoke creation and set about researching the typical cost with a seamstress. 
 
At this point I had a word with myself and decided that for the type of dress I wanted I was more than capable of making it myself. besides which I'm 54 and it's a second wedding fo both of us blah,blah, blah... I just needed to find the right pattern and get my sewing machine serviced. 
Opinions are like a***holes – we’ve all got one. 
Do you have a friend who has something to say about anything and everything? And who likes to share it with anyone and everyone. 
 
They like the sound of their own voice. 
 
I get invited onto local TV and radio occasionally to give my opinions on topics, sometimes it’s stuff in the news, other times it’s local interest stuff, sometimes they ask me to talk about what I do and the reasons and benefits behind certain things such as the 21 Day Style Challenge, Glum to Glam workshops, the charity Swish clothes swaps that I organise etc. 
 
For some of the light-hearted topics it’s easy to provide an opinion and chat easily about stuff. Other times when it’s a bit heavier I’m aware that I might sit on the fence slightly, hedging my bets, being diplomatic one might say. The other guest I was on with last week asked me if I was one of those controversial type guests. I’m not. But I have been on several times with that type. 
 
I find myself being a bit cautious about being controversial and alienating people – you never know who might be watching. 
 
Perhaps it’s a potential client who likes the cut of my jib and is thinking they might like to find out more about me and potentially visit my website – I don’t want to go off on one and come across as it’s my way or highway. This would be totally off brand for me. It’s important that I walk my walk and talk my talk at all times. 
I first met Sue in 2014, she was out of love with her wardrobe and was often stressed about what to wear. Not any more! Read about Sue's journey as she's defined and refined her personal style, colours and image over the past few years. Definitely a sucess story. Here she is answering questions posed by my Style Sisterhood Community (free FB Group)
1. What type of thing have you done with Lisa?  
(A) Colour analysis (in person) 
(B) 5 steps workshop (twice)  
3 x 21 day online style challenges 
 
2. What actually happens?  
(A) Lisa chatted to me about what I do, my social/leisure as well as work, why I felt I wanted my colours done, what I felt I might get out of the process, what wardrobe challenges I had or issues with clothes, how I felt about my clothes & whether I liked shopping for clothes, where I shopped etc. 
 
3. How did you feel before?  
(A) A bit nervous. I had met Lisa before through networking but I was really keen to know more about what she did & how she could help me. 
 
4. How did you feel during the process?  
(A) Relaxed & we had a few laughs too 
 
5. How did you feel afterwards?  
(A) Amazed & enlightened. Much more confident that the clothes we had edited for my wardrobe were suited to my colour palette. NB Further work in  
(B) helped me understand my Own Style & why some of these 'me colour' clothes still didn't feel right on me! This has been a gradual education process & I am still learning all the time. 
 
 
Self- Image Demons 
 
Do you talk to yourself (maybe out loud or in your head) sometimes but not in a nice way? Does your inner critic say nasty things to you as you get ready for a night out? You’re trying a new top on that you really liked in the shop, it’s a bit more colourful than you’re used to or maybe it’s a different style that you’ve not tried before…you aren’t 100% sure and need a bit of reassurance that you look nice. 
Then those little voices start in your head. The self -image demons can be proper nasty little buggers with viper tongues, making vile and vicious comments. They’re evil, they know too well about all the things we’re not sure about, they play on our insecurities and affect our self-confidence. 
 
Whiney, Nasty Bitch 
 
I recently asked in my online community, the Style Sisterhood group on Facebook, about the kind of things SID* (Self Image Demons) might say. Most of the responses would be deemed horrid and offensive if we ever actually said them to anyone else…we’d be seen as a whiney, nasty bitch on the attack. 
What size is PLUS Size? In Nov 2015 I put it out there in various social media groups that I belong to and asked ”at what size do you consider plus size to start?” 
My question was for market research purposes, not to be controversial or start a debate. Someone had suggested I ought to use the term in my marketing and was curious to see what people thought. I got quite a few responses and it seems to be a subject that ruffles feathers and divides opinion. Some people find the term offensive, mean and rude, others see it as an alternative term for unhealthy. 
 
Is it a classification or an insult? 
I personally don’t like it but it seems to be the recognised term within the fashion industry. If I’m looking for clothes online I Google ‘plus size’. The answers I got ranged from size 14 upwards but most people thought size 20 was the starting point. Is it just a term to describe a body shape? Like short, tall, athletic, curvy etc? Some of the people who responded were apologetic, as if they were worried about offending people. Others thought it might be better to use terms that seem less derogatory. 
 
Are you normal? 
I wonder why it is seen as a negative term? If you look for the dictionary definition of the word plus it has quite positive connotations… Advantage, asset, higher end of the scale, extra, a perk, prerequisite. It also says it can refer to larger than normal size in women’s clothing. What’s normal? Is it the same as average? Because the average woman in the UK is a size 16, 5ft 3″ and weighs 11 stone apparently. 
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