The Guilty Secret of Wardrobe Incompetence
This week I’m sharing with you how I think your journey with colour and clothes can help you find inner peace, happiness and contentment. Yep, I know it’s a big claim but bear with me. I’ll share some of my journey and you can see if any of it resonates.
There was a time when I felt quite overwhelmed when it came to putting an outfit together to go for a night out with friends. I had a wardrobe full of clothes, but I was practically wailing in my head ‘I’ve got nothing to wear’. How was it possible to have a wardrobe crammed full yet have NOTHING to wear? It didn’t make sense.
I’m an intelligent, well-educated woman, in a well-paid job with lots of responsibility how can I be feeling so inadequate standing in my own bedroom faced with my own possessions?
And I understand I’m not on my own with this… for a lot of women these feelings are kept hidden even from close friends (and certainly from colleagues) because it makes them feel a bit stupid and silly. Inferior even. I know this because clients tell me so.
It’s a guilty secret – I mean shouldn’t we all know how to get dressed ffs? I even have some clients who, despite the amazing difference working with me makes to their lives and how they feel about themselves, are hesitant to tell people they’ve worked with me!
I’m sharing it with you because if your best friend won’t talk to you about it who will? I think it’s important for people to realise that this stuff can make such a massive difference to how you feel on a day to day basis.
The truth is I was suffering from WTF Syndrome -Wardrobe That’s Failing. It wasn’t on my side; I’d bred a monster.
I had clothes rather than outfits.
Lots of things bought in the sales that were such a ‘bargain’. Or impulse buys that didn’t really go with anything else; things thrown in the shopping trolley amidst the carrots and cleaning products of the weekly ‘big’ shop because I was there anyway, it was easy and only a tenner. I also had the guilt of being plus size which limited my options, so I’d bought things sometimes just because they fit me.
So here I am, ‘Karen’s’ birthday night out and I’m getting frustrated and stressed because I can’t find anything to wear that makes me feel nice (no wonder really). I’d rather just put my pyjamas on, pour a glass of Malbec and watch a box set.
Then I’d berate myself and be a bit judgy. Not very kind to myself and then the self-image demons start joining in and it becomes a big negative party…woah!!!!!! You can see where it’s all heading and it’s nowhere nice. This is a downward spiral.
So, how did I get myself out of this situation? I had a word with myself and realised I need to invest in my relationship with yours truly. I had to stop putting myself at the bottom of the priority list and there was to be no more making do.
• I had a massive clear out of my wardrobe of things I never wore but was keeping ‘just in case’.
• I moved things out of my wardrobe that no longer fitted and were a daily reminder that my shape had changed. They were more stick than carrot.
• I stopped buying things in sales unless I’d have found them as attractive full price.
• I started to think carefully about what I already had in my wardrobe and considered the rule of 3 – would it go with at least 3 other things I already owned.
• I only bought things that I loved and were the right shapes, style and colours for me.
All of these actions were me investing in my relationship with me, putting myself as a priority and ultimately it is a form of self-care.
Self-care takes many forms and it can be as simple as eating nutritious food and drinking lots of water every day or it can be regular trips to the spa – OR as I’m asking you to do, it can be improving your relationship with your wardrobe.
So, here’s how your journey with colour and clothes can help you find inner peace, happiness and contentment
It makes sense – we all have to wear clothes on a daily basis, why not have them working with you rather than against you? Make changes so that your wardrobe transpires from one that is failing to one that is supporting your well-being and serving you.
This week I’m inviting you to raise your standards as far as you’re concerned – value yourself enough to make time to get your wardrobe sorted. It will help you feel more confident, positive and happier I promise.
Here’s how my theory works:
1) You invest in yourself
This can be time, money or both. If it’s time it could be having a cathartic clear out of your clothes that are no longer serving you. Thank them (Marie Kondo style) and send them on their way.
Money wise it can be only buying things that are Goldilocks items moving forward. This means they are just right, and you aren’t making do. If you need help working out your Goldilocks strategy you know where I am (The investment of Super Savvy Style £247 will pay for itself in no time).
2) By investing you learn
Your learning might be very practical. You might enjoy having a more wearable wardrobe. You learn how much money you have wasted over the years buying clothes that didn’t earn their keep. It could free up your headspace and you learn how much time thinking about what to wear took up.
3) By learning you grow
Your growth may be about being kinder to yourself and you become more positive towards yourself, the self-image demons make less noise. Also, when you are kinder to yourself chances are, you’ll become more compassionate to others. You could become calmer and less stressed. It could be that you are more self-aware of your needs and prioritise yourself more.
4) When you grow you are happier
By experiencing this personal growth, being kind and more positive towards yourself and others your life experience improves therefore you become happier and feel more peaceful inside. You feel secure in yourself and are able to genuinely express who you are and be authentic. And then as a result you exude radiance and confidence.
Ta da! Contentment using clothes as a vehicle to get there.
And there you have it my friends – I hope I’ve given you a little bit of food for thought. Let me know if any of this story resonates with you and whether you feel inspired to take action.
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