Loving Yourself - is it a bad thing?
So here we are, it’s February and the media is just bonkers with Valentine’s Day stuff and all things romantic. Red roses, chocolate and prosecco, love hearts everywhere. Marks and Spencer’s even have a love sausage you can woo your beloved with on the 14th!
There's so much stuff about love and romance in the air but my question to you is do you love YOURSELF enough? And how do you show it? How many of us do actually love ourselves (and I don’t mean in an arrogant, show off type of way) and take care to treat our ourselves accordingly?
Do you take good care of yourself? Do you look after yourself as if you’re a precious thing to be loved and treasured? Nope? Thought not. I’m the first one to admit that I don't possibly treat myself as well as I could. Quite often us women feel guilty about spending time on ourselves. We look after our families and prioritise making sure they have what they need, and we slide down the list.
More recently I have been making time for other things that I enjoy and giving myself a break. I realise that all work and no play is not good long term. I’ve started mosaic classes, picked up my knitting needles, joined the WI. All things that are ‘me time’. It's too easy for me to end up whiling away the hours working on social media. These hobbies might seem only little things but if we start thinking about the bigger picture and self esteem and self worth it's all linked to self care. Not selfish, important.
What else do I do to show myself love?
I eat healthily and having a pampering session is always nice but in these busy times it often seems like a treat, I don’t think it should be really. I caught myself thinking that the other day, I was doing the whole bath, face pack, exfoliating, eyebrow plucking thing and started to feel a bit guilty about spending time on myself! There were so many other things I could be doing. I had to have a word with myself! I feel horrible if I’ve got stubbly legs and armpits, dry skin on my feet and why would I not want myself to feel nice?
Back to my point of loving ourselves ...one area I always do give time and attention to is from the neck up.
I figure that my hair and face are always on show, so I place importance on keeping them looking as good as possible. I buy good skincare products to keep my skin in good nick and the wrinkles at bay. Also, it’s mega important for me to get my hair cut regularly, my hair appointments are not negotiable. They are booked in every 6 weeks, in advance, without fail. I’ve been going to my lovely hairdresser Brian for over 20 years and dread the day he retires! My hair appointments are an absolute priority – the one thing I would NEVER miss.
We all have different priorities in life, for some people it can be only eating nourishing food whereas for others a blowout meal might be the thing; spa days, regular massages, yoga, meditation, exercise, time with friends, holidays abroad, designer clothes – it doesn’t matter what you choose, as long as you choose something that is right for you.
Many of my clients come to me because they’ve decided to prioritise themselves. Quite often they have got to a point where they’ve been at the bottom of the list for too long, decided enough is enough and it's time for a change.
• They might be a mum who has a bit more time for themselves now the kids are older. They realise that their identity has been lost somewhere along the way while they were busy looking after everyone else.
• Sometimes it's the menopause that is the turning point. They don’t like how their body shape has changed and how their hair and skin has altered. They want to look their best but not mutton dressed as lamb but feel a bit unsure where to start.
• Sometimes its the end of a relationship or a job and they are ready to make a fresh start. Ready to make changes with how they look and present themselves.
The one thing they all have in common is that they are ready for a confidence boost and know that colour and clothes can be transformational in how you feel about yourself. The impact of looking good is not to be underestimated in terms of how you feel about yourself.
Other things that make me feel nice are not necessarily big things – it’s the little things every day that can make all the difference. Like crisp clean sheets when you get into bed at night, your favourite wine (instead of the one on offer), £4 on a bunch of flowers from the supermarket, burning the lovely smelly candle, a phone call with someone you love, saying no to something you don’t want to do, putting your feet up and having a rest when you need it, stopping the negative self-talk and recognising your achievements…the list goes on.
So, my question to you in the run up to Valentine’s Day is how will you love yourself? Let me know what you decide to do.
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